The Pink Hippo dress code

These are the absolute requirements of our religion, at the core of our culture, based on our profound personal beliefs, and we demand that all societies tolerate them.

The requirements are different for the two branches of Hippoism.

Literalist Intrepretist
A full-length pink outer garment clearly showing the words: "The Pink Hippo created the Universe - all other religions are evil" Not a requirement - normal clothing may be worn.
A pink piece of string round each wrist and ankle Not a requirement - normal clothing may be worn.
Pink socks and pink slippers Not a requirement - normal clothing may be worn.
A Pink Hippo ring in the left nostril A Pink Hippo necklace (women) or lapel badge (men) must be worn at all times.
Male believers must carry a sword and loaded pistol to smite those who do not believe in The Pink Hippo Not a requirement.
Women believers ("the evil temptresses of men who have no control over their lusts") must go naked apart from string, socks, slippers, ring and a pink plastic bag that covers them entirely. Not a requirement.

Notes

  • Literalist women believers cannot see through the plastic bag so they must be led at all times by a male believer who may give verbal directional commands but must not touch them;
  • The high incidence of Literalist women believers being killed in road accidents is a sacrifice we willingly make in the name of The Pink Hippo.
  • The Literalist Church of the Pink Hippo has negotiated an exemption to the Firearms Act so that believers may carry, and use, loaded pistols at all times.
  • All items may be sourced through our Merchandise page.
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The Pink Hippo is a concept, religion and ideology developed and owned by Derbyshire Secularists and Humanists.
Applications for licences to use The Pink Hippo logo and other related material should be addressed to Derbyshire Secularists and Humanists.